Alfred and Bruce’s relationship right now…

tayflay10:

Alfred: Bruce, don’t bloody do the thing

Bruce: I’m going to do the thing.

Alfred: DON’T YOU BLOODY DO THE THING

Bruce: *Does the thing*

Alfred: *aggressively hugs Bruce* 

Alfred: *Calls Gordon* Bruce did the thing

Gordon: I’m on my way. 

dry-cereal:

dry-cereal:

dry-cereal:

once i was sick so i got a prescription for codeine cough syrup and when i went to pick it up the pharmacist was like “you really won’t need all of this” and i was like “it’s ok i could just sell it at school” and he was like “YEAAAAAAAH FUTURE PHARMACIST” and fist bumped me

ok apparently this pharmacist is my brother’s old pot dealer

his name is scooter

aggybird:

‘hi i haven’t talked to you in five weeks but we’re still best friends’: a story about me and human interaction.

sosickweredead:

After 10 years of hearing kitchen, sandwich, driving, fake geek girls, being physically weak, and PMS Jokes. I do not care about hurting the feelings of boys with (stereotypically masculine)jokes.

farrahtales:

If you don’t strategically eat your food so that the last bites to go in your mouth are the tastiest look at your choices