le-claire-de-lune:

I’d rather teen girls reading nothing but terribly written fanfics about their favorite OTPs that express healthy and emotionally-sound romantic relationships than “great literature” that teaches them they are prizes to be won or creatures to be controlled or destroyed. 

prehistorian:

stop for a minute and realize you are a 10lb brain piloting a slab of meat

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

dritim:

sluggys:

You wouldn’t download a goat. 

shut the fuck up i would absolutely download a goat

spaceindavers:

real trust is letting a cannibal give you oral